It had been three months since we started dating, and I knew nothing about him. His truck and first name, maybe, or at least that’s what I thought.
You hear many things about online dating. Reasons to keep away, but enough to draw you in. When I quit a commission-only job that took twelve, sometimes more hours of my days, six days a week, I felt like time had cheated me. I was so bent on catching up on life, the things I potentially missed, that I decided to try some new things. One of those things was downloading a dating app.
I downloaded the app, OK Cupid, while I was on a trip to Surrey, BC, with one of my best friends. I was having such a good time with my friend that I forgot about the app for a while until I brought it up and let my friend’s roommate help me text a few people on it.
It’s difficult to remember exactly how long it took me to get back on the app after I got back to Edmonton, but I remember it was close to the end of the year, likely the end of November. He was not the cutest or sexiest boy I talked to on the app, but he had his way with words. We chatted a lot and eventually started talking on the phone. He asked to take me on a date, and after convincing myself to stop being paranoid, I agreed.
It was a coffee date, and he offered to pick me up, so I sent him my address. Rookie mistake! Please do not do that! I remember dressing up nicely and walking outside the house. He was parked a little further down the street, a deliberate move on his part because he was trying to make sure it was not an ambush of some sort. He drove up to me, I got into a car without a stranger who now knew where I lived, and we drove to get coffee at about 8 pm.
It had now been about three months, several conversations and meetups later, and I realised I knew nothing about him, nothing that mattered. I remember joking to my friend that his name was probably not Christiano, and we laughed about it.
It is not uncommon to be lied to when online dating. Take Janice, for instance, who met up with a guy she met on a dating app, and he was at least 10years older than his profile pictures. He also invited Janice back to his place, where his parents were visiting him, for sex, but that’s a story for another day.
Using my social media skills, I decided I would find Christiano online and quickly realised that was not going to work since I did not know his last name. “How can you date a guy for months and not know his last name,” I asked myself. So, I asked him, and he told me, Carrillo. None of the profiles I found online had his picture, but as someone with a common first and last name, I did not overthink into it.
Christiano was a very busy man who went on trips to the States a lot, and I never questioned the validity of that story because I had carefully inspected his ring finger when we first met to see if it had a wedding band lines. It did not. He also invited me over to his place but suggested I waited till his brother left, so I took that as a good sign too. The visit never happened because he always came to my place, and quite frankly, I enjoyed the convenience.
It had now been more than six months of being together, and I was getting very uncomfortable. I had this gut feeling that everything I knew about Christiano was a lie, and it was getting harder to ignore it. So, I told him I wanted out. He asked what he could do to fix it. His excuse for not inviting me to his home because he just bought his house and the furniture had not arrived. Of course, I did not believe him. I ended the situationship, told him there was no animosity, and deleted his number.
Several weeks later, I got a text from an unsaved number, and my phone revealed his name as Mariano Irizar. That’s when I knew I was right all along.